Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Flaming Joy of Menopause

I believe I've discovered a renewable untapped energy resource. As I write this I am stripping down to my tank top due to an inner surge of post nuclear powered heat. My head becomes red at random intervals and I must remove my clothing. The slightest amount of emotion or warmth transforms and compounds into an abundance of menopausal energy. A hot shower can leave me with hours and hours of an overactive amount of body heat.

Think of the global implications! If we could harness the power of the thrashing restless nights, let alone the heat, we could lay off our non renewable natural resources. The emotional swings of a few women alone could power a small city. My chemo/menopausal forgetfulness which makes me pace around the house could charge a light bulb, at least!

I've heard a theory that raging into early menopause due to chemotherapy is much more severe then coming into it naturally. Either way the concept is mind boggling. This is supposed to happen at some later point in your life? It seems weird and unnatural to me.

We might as well capitalize on it!


I think I may win the Nobel prize for my ingenuity.

9 comments:

neil wiernik said...

hey there fellow canadian arts cancer warrior...
:) (I prefer the term warrior to survivor or fighter)
like you sad its the new normal... i cant say that I understand early menopause but I can understand the new normal of an out of whack body thermostat, mines been all screwy since last may a day or 2 after my first chemo. these chemicals they give to us and destroying our immune system certainly along with all other kinds of things in our body seems to trigger all kinds of changes that can result in the new normal (what ever normal is, since normal is such an individual thing)
hey email me if you like neil (at) phoniq (dot) net
its always great to connect with some one in similar shoes (art, canadian, cancer what more can one ask for) ;)

Garnet said...

I feel your pain...or, rather, HEAT! It's like pregnancy and menopause all rolled into one without the baby or crone in the mirror at the end of the tunnel! I thought that my sweating from just getting up and walking across the room was because I haven't exercised much lately. I guess it's just the nuclear power surging through my veins! Hey! Do I glow in the dark?!?!

Autonomous Artisans said...

Will you fly over here and heat our water please because our combi boiler has decided that although it's happy to heat the radiators around the house to banging off the wall point, it won't heat water to wash up or have a bath in any more. So it's cold showers for us! Brrrrrr

Skully said...

Oops that was my alter ego "Promotional Blog" talking there.

By the way would you like to be a featured Artisan of the week on that blog?

neil wiernik said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
neil wiernik said...

hey the pleasure is all mine your blog rocks!!!
I took 2 hours this morning to read through a bunch of it....great work documenting your current life!!!
I hope you get over your cold quickly, nothing sucks more then getting a cold after what folks like you and I have been through, even though it can feel like peanuts compared to the bigger picture of stuff we are dealing with. I hope you get well soon!! looking forward to your email...

Garnet said...

Every time I comment on your lovely blog, I can only log in with my blogger blog. But I don't blog there nearly as often as I do my other blog - where I talk about my own fight with cancer. So check me out over there: http://www.myhoneyandme.com/blog

See you there!

One Mother with Cancer said...

If it’s any consolation within two years your body starts to settle back down.

BaldyLocks said...

Yay! I sure hope so.