I guess I'm moving. Really, I knew either way I would be moving out of here.
It's crazy how life can turn on a dime and my dime has been turned more than I want to count. It's pretty much scuffed up at this point. Sometimes things slowly creep up on you and sometimes events are like a swift, blind punch to the face.
I went to my oncology and oncology/dental appointments last Thursday. The appointments went mostly as I had expected. The graft/vs/host has returned and my mouth is as uncomfortable as ever. My eyes have the GVH dryness, I'm having gut pains and my Dr is concerned about Ms Vagina again.
Ms Super Vagina had been given the thumbs up 3 months ago but problems in the mouth=problems "down there". Anyway, I giggled to my Dr that the mouth problems I can live with. The worst part is my lack of being able to wear lipstick, ha ha. We chatted about our sons (I have 3, she has 4) and I talked about how much my oldest (18) has been through with my illness etc. and how he's finally pulled himself out of his funk. The next day I found him with a black eye.
My onco-dentist said how mild graft/vs/host is a good thing because it keeps the leukemia away. Way to give a positive spin...Dr. So my medications are not being lowered, I repeat, NOT GOING TO BE LOWERED. That's okay. After this heavy duty of a cocktail of drugs for this amount of time, I'm probably completely preserved.
I did hear one thing that I didn't expect. My onc said, "We don't expect it to come back". My ears prick up. Excuse me? What? You don't expect my leukemia to come back?
My world is changing now. It looks so different suddenly. What's that I see?
I think that's my future.