As always, proud to be Canadian!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A Video that Intrigues Me
I love how he used video from just before his diagnosis to announce his diagnosis. That blended with the music, and I have watched it over and over. Apparently he is doing well now. Go Peetmick!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Singles Awareness Day!
Hallmark and the chocolate companies are laughing themselves to the bank today.
I'm completely wiped and have spent the day on the couch forced by my immobility to watch a series of princess movies. Heck two of them were Cinderella stories backed right against each other. My guess is, it's to remind all of us who aren't partnered up and hand feeding someone chocolate dipped strawberries right now, what we should be striving for. And for those of us who are watching television to escape the dripping looks of love between couples in the sunshine should all be sad and remorseful that our prince hasn't saved us yet. Every single last one of us deserve to be princesses and have our lives rescued by that perfect prince....
Right?
Well, as the 3rd princess movie was wrapping up and the brainwashing was taking hold, that thought crossed my mind. As I really thought about it, I remembered where I've been and what I've been through. I got over wanting to be a princess when I was 8. I also remembered the things that mean something to me and how grateful I am to be who I am, striving to accomplish good things without depending on the aid of another.
If I need flowers, I buy them myself. If I need chocolate, I get it myself. If I need to feel good about myself, then I tell myself that I'm worth it. I don't knock having a partner but I'm also not going to put off anything until that day. And if that day never comes then I will be everything I need. It can be hard but today I will I feel the complete gratitude of being the conductor of my own life.
Heck, I died my hair purple when I was 30, I ran off with my kids to attend university in another city at 32, hula hoop in the living room at random intervals and wear striped socks blatantly and frequently. I truly love being able to be myself without getting that look... you know the one.
I'm completely wiped and have spent the day on the couch forced by my immobility to watch a series of princess movies. Heck two of them were Cinderella stories backed right against each other. My guess is, it's to remind all of us who aren't partnered up and hand feeding someone chocolate dipped strawberries right now, what we should be striving for. And for those of us who are watching television to escape the dripping looks of love between couples in the sunshine should all be sad and remorseful that our prince hasn't saved us yet. Every single last one of us deserve to be princesses and have our lives rescued by that perfect prince....
Right?
Well, as the 3rd princess movie was wrapping up and the brainwashing was taking hold, that thought crossed my mind. As I really thought about it, I remembered where I've been and what I've been through. I got over wanting to be a princess when I was 8. I also remembered the things that mean something to me and how grateful I am to be who I am, striving to accomplish good things without depending on the aid of another.
If I need flowers, I buy them myself. If I need chocolate, I get it myself. If I need to feel good about myself, then I tell myself that I'm worth it. I don't knock having a partner but I'm also not going to put off anything until that day. And if that day never comes then I will be everything I need. It can be hard but today I will I feel the complete gratitude of being the conductor of my own life.
Heck, I died my hair purple when I was 30, I ran off with my kids to attend university in another city at 32, hula hoop in the living room at random intervals and wear striped socks blatantly and frequently. I truly love being able to be myself without getting that look... you know the one.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
A Quote
I just came across a write up from someone who didn't win a million dollars in a contest and was eventually relieved about it. She realized she would have missed out on all the good things in her life right now. I found it very inspiring because, like her, I also have never won a million dollars.
"We are so blessed in life without seeing it. The universe has quite the sense of humour and uses a sick way of unfolding things in ways that make us feel defeated or that we've lost something when in reality our "loss" is really a catalyst to something greater." -SaFire
I found the words to be very true.
"We are so blessed in life without seeing it. The universe has quite the sense of humour and uses a sick way of unfolding things in ways that make us feel defeated or that we've lost something when in reality our "loss" is really a catalyst to something greater." -SaFire
I found the words to be very true.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Paxil Interferes with Tamoxifen
There has been a very important discovery made that everyone taking tamoxifen or the generic form, Paroxetine needs to know. Paxil cancels the effects of Tamoxifen and Paroxetine making the chance of a cancer relapse much higher. People taking this combination of tamoxifen and Paxil have a much higher likely hood of dying. If you are on these drugs, or the generic forms please talk to your doctor right away!
Read more by following this link and reading one of the many articles on the research.
Anyone who knows anyone who has had breast cancer needs to pass this along.
Let's all stay healthy and alive!
Read more by following this link and reading one of the many articles on the research.
Anyone who knows anyone who has had breast cancer needs to pass this along.
Let's all stay healthy and alive!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Skate 4 Cancer
This is a guy that is skateboarding across countries to fight cancer. He does a great deal to create knowledge and awareness, especially in the younger generation. It brings tears to my eyes when I see what he is accomplishing, all in the name of the mother he lost to the disease.
I love his message at the end, "Eat your veggies!"
Skate 4 Cancer
I love his message at the end, "Eat your veggies!"
Skate 4 Cancer
Monday, February 8, 2010
A vs B
I've come to an important eye-opening conclusion about myself recently. I am a type A personality living in a type B body. My mind runs like it's a hyperactive squirrel in a wheel on speed, and my life and body used to live up to the task. Unfortunately these days my body is like the squirrel if it was actually that guy down the street that sits on his pleather couch in the basement drinking beer with his pants undone amidst empty pizza boxes.
My brain is usually in eager high production mode despite the fog of chemo brain but the body doesn't agree, in fact they are currently polar opposites. I spend a great deal of time in the 'idea phase' of all my hopes, dreams and plans, my creativity bouncing off the insides of my skull. In contrast, the cooperation and participation of my body is like that dead thing under your steps.
I spend too much of my time being frustrated with this conflict of A vs. B. I've never been that person who is happy the way life is right now and is content to placidly hang out and engage in small talk. I like to be producing, building and learning at all times or at least planning to. As a kid I was swinging from trees, fiercely competing with the boys for intellectual and physical superiority as well as living a thousand adventures in my imagination. I ran instead of walking, read and talked at an early age and drove my parents to near insanity with my stubborn will. I cut and drew on a hundred pieces of paper a day, which equated to my mom digging out my room so the floor, could be found at night. The next day I would start afresh and do it all again. Luckily my mother was a pillar of patience and my father worked at a paper mill.
As soon as I stepped into adulthood I fell into my parent’s taunting prophecy of, 'Just you wait until you have a kid like you, THEN you'll be sorry,' but in my usual fashion I did it X 3. Three beautiful, energetic sons were my apparent destiny. Soon after I ended up a single parent in a tragic fashion. Not one to let life get the best of me I eventually picked myself up off the floor and plowed forward enrolling in post secondary so I could get that degree.
My inner mantra was to do everything at 110% capacity but in reality it was much beyond that. I expected myself to do my best of my best at all times. My drive was expected to take me to my MBA and being a creative CEO of a large corporation. I graduated with first class honours and distinction in my undergraduate degree from the top University in Canada while single handedly wrangling and funneling my children's energy into being safe, alive, functioning, good people. It was working…
Then cancer showed up.
Now my housecoat is my power suit, my pants are stretchy and my plans have changed. In the last 3 years I've put the same effort into learning patience as I have in living my life.
The squirrel has been shot.
Yet my brain says go and my body says no. I often wonder, am I lazy? Is this what it's like? Do I not care? But I do. I wrestle daily to fuse the capacity of my motivation with the sluggishness of my body.
There has been many times since cancer where I try to stubbornly push and function out of sheer will but it's no longer possible. My legs will give out and my hands will stop working. I trip. I fall. My body is no sucker; it's on vacation and has shacked up with the type B life. What takes one person an hour to do may take me days or weeks to get done. Time slips unmercifully past. I'm humbly learning that no amount of stubborn willpower or good intentions will get any job done until the rest of me is able. In short, cancer has kicked my ass all over the place.
So, in a twist of fate, the brakes have been put on and I haven’t been able to be a workaholic ever since. I’ve been forced to slow down and re-evaluate what it was that I was racing for. Rather than running for the future I’ve had to get to know today and even more so, get to know me. Weirdly, this new reality has reunited me with the pieces of the person who I was as a child, the one who I was at the beginning before I hit hyper drive towards goals of academic achievement.
At the beginning I was a child with insurmountable curiosity. The world was adrift in adventure whether it was the apple tree in the back yard, jumping off the high diving board when nobody was looking or exploring the cavernous dangers of the crawlspace under the house when my mom was occupied. So much trouble to get into, so little time.
So I’m the same but never to be the same. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the couch has become my best friend and I might want cable. I struggle to take today for what it is and be active in creating the moments that bring me joy. I look for adventures in my backyard, find reasons to laugh and wear a blue wig because I can. Type A does the adventuring and type B does the writing. If that partnership doesn't work out then I'll let them fight it out to the finish in a cage match.
My brain is usually in eager high production mode despite the fog of chemo brain but the body doesn't agree, in fact they are currently polar opposites. I spend a great deal of time in the 'idea phase' of all my hopes, dreams and plans, my creativity bouncing off the insides of my skull. In contrast, the cooperation and participation of my body is like that dead thing under your steps.
I spend too much of my time being frustrated with this conflict of A vs. B. I've never been that person who is happy the way life is right now and is content to placidly hang out and engage in small talk. I like to be producing, building and learning at all times or at least planning to. As a kid I was swinging from trees, fiercely competing with the boys for intellectual and physical superiority as well as living a thousand adventures in my imagination. I ran instead of walking, read and talked at an early age and drove my parents to near insanity with my stubborn will. I cut and drew on a hundred pieces of paper a day, which equated to my mom digging out my room so the floor, could be found at night. The next day I would start afresh and do it all again. Luckily my mother was a pillar of patience and my father worked at a paper mill.
As soon as I stepped into adulthood I fell into my parent’s taunting prophecy of, 'Just you wait until you have a kid like you, THEN you'll be sorry,' but in my usual fashion I did it X 3. Three beautiful, energetic sons were my apparent destiny. Soon after I ended up a single parent in a tragic fashion. Not one to let life get the best of me I eventually picked myself up off the floor and plowed forward enrolling in post secondary so I could get that degree.
My inner mantra was to do everything at 110% capacity but in reality it was much beyond that. I expected myself to do my best of my best at all times. My drive was expected to take me to my MBA and being a creative CEO of a large corporation. I graduated with first class honours and distinction in my undergraduate degree from the top University in Canada while single handedly wrangling and funneling my children's energy into being safe, alive, functioning, good people. It was working…
Then cancer showed up.
Now my housecoat is my power suit, my pants are stretchy and my plans have changed. In the last 3 years I've put the same effort into learning patience as I have in living my life.
The squirrel has been shot.
Yet my brain says go and my body says no. I often wonder, am I lazy? Is this what it's like? Do I not care? But I do. I wrestle daily to fuse the capacity of my motivation with the sluggishness of my body.
There has been many times since cancer where I try to stubbornly push and function out of sheer will but it's no longer possible. My legs will give out and my hands will stop working. I trip. I fall. My body is no sucker; it's on vacation and has shacked up with the type B life. What takes one person an hour to do may take me days or weeks to get done. Time slips unmercifully past. I'm humbly learning that no amount of stubborn willpower or good intentions will get any job done until the rest of me is able. In short, cancer has kicked my ass all over the place.
So, in a twist of fate, the brakes have been put on and I haven’t been able to be a workaholic ever since. I’ve been forced to slow down and re-evaluate what it was that I was racing for. Rather than running for the future I’ve had to get to know today and even more so, get to know me. Weirdly, this new reality has reunited me with the pieces of the person who I was as a child, the one who I was at the beginning before I hit hyper drive towards goals of academic achievement.
At the beginning I was a child with insurmountable curiosity. The world was adrift in adventure whether it was the apple tree in the back yard, jumping off the high diving board when nobody was looking or exploring the cavernous dangers of the crawlspace under the house when my mom was occupied. So much trouble to get into, so little time.
So I’m the same but never to be the same. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the couch has become my best friend and I might want cable. I struggle to take today for what it is and be active in creating the moments that bring me joy. I look for adventures in my backyard, find reasons to laugh and wear a blue wig because I can. Type A does the adventuring and type B does the writing. If that partnership doesn't work out then I'll let them fight it out to the finish in a cage match.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Hen Partay
It utterly amazes me how drunk one can get from 3 glasses of wine.
I thought I may as well add this photo of the ManCandy dressed as Pocahontas from Halloween. That's me in the background taking photos. It's not often you get to see a guy in a short skirt hula hooping in a hoop you made.
Personally I think men should do that more often.
I thought I may as well add this photo of the ManCandy dressed as Pocahontas from Halloween. That's me in the background taking photos. It's not often you get to see a guy in a short skirt hula hooping in a hoop you made.
Personally I think men should do that more often.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Pawn Shop
Being a mom to 3 sons has always been interesting... or maybe I should have put that in quotation marks? Being a mom to 3 sons has always been "interesting". They are active to the point of bouncing off the walls, they used to climb trees bigger than my house and they always had at least 5 friends over at a time when they would just be a blur as they circled around and around the house. I have always been extremely active in their lives and knowing what they are up to and in to. Sometimes it's not so much fun knowing that stuff but that's my job.
I have to be there, be open and loving and also be the bootcamp leader, and the one who says "No" and mean it. Basically I have to play "Bad Cop/ Good Cop" all on my own. I want them to feel loved, respected, listened to, trusted and protected, although the last few years they have become my protectors. They have an amazing reflex to catch me when I wobble and I haven't hit the ground yet!
Despite being fairly "in the know" about what they do, I also know that they are all decent, good kindhearted people. They have boundaries and interests and are not afraid to lend a hand to help someone out. And the mischief they have gotten into as teenagers has been more about climbing up places they shouldn't be. Really, I like them more now than I ever have. Damn it, I like my teenagers!
So my youngest comes home today after school and tells me how his friend and him went to a pawn shop. They traded old games for new ones and when they got back to his friend's house and opened them they noticed the game disk wasn't there. Heck no, there was a porn DVD instead.
So when he came in, he told me about it. He said he was ticked off that the game he wanted wasn't there, but like any boy on the planet, he also looked slightly curious. I confiscated it. It's called, "Truly Nice Tits 8, Breast Friends". I'm holding it for him until tomorrow when he goes back and swaps it in.
I appreciate his honesty a great deal but I can't help know that he is going to regret telling me FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
I'm sure he's probably in his room now thinking, "damn!"
It's only natural. I'm sure they sneaked a peak at it at his friends house anyway. I don't think anyone has been irreparably damaged by seeing breasts before especially since he has seen all the nude life drawing I used to bring home after my classes.
Yes, Just another day at my house.
I have to be there, be open and loving and also be the bootcamp leader, and the one who says "No" and mean it. Basically I have to play "Bad Cop/ Good Cop" all on my own. I want them to feel loved, respected, listened to, trusted and protected, although the last few years they have become my protectors. They have an amazing reflex to catch me when I wobble and I haven't hit the ground yet!
Despite being fairly "in the know" about what they do, I also know that they are all decent, good kindhearted people. They have boundaries and interests and are not afraid to lend a hand to help someone out. And the mischief they have gotten into as teenagers has been more about climbing up places they shouldn't be. Really, I like them more now than I ever have. Damn it, I like my teenagers!
So my youngest comes home today after school and tells me how his friend and him went to a pawn shop. They traded old games for new ones and when they got back to his friend's house and opened them they noticed the game disk wasn't there. Heck no, there was a porn DVD instead.
So when he came in, he told me about it. He said he was ticked off that the game he wanted wasn't there, but like any boy on the planet, he also looked slightly curious. I confiscated it. It's called, "Truly Nice Tits 8, Breast Friends". I'm holding it for him until tomorrow when he goes back and swaps it in.
I appreciate his honesty a great deal but I can't help know that he is going to regret telling me FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
I'm sure he's probably in his room now thinking, "damn!"
It's only natural. I'm sure they sneaked a peak at it at his friends house anyway. I don't think anyone has been irreparably damaged by seeing breasts before especially since he has seen all the nude life drawing I used to bring home after my classes.
Yes, Just another day at my house.
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