I'm going through the motions of the things on my grand adventure list but today the worry and the loss of myself is overpowering. I still got into the kayak and I slipped quietly over the calm darkening water. The waves rode along side me and kept me buoyant. The sun set over me and the full moon rose over the water sending little glints of light off each ripple.
As I clumsily paddled outward I felt a peace come over me. I just kept putting the oars in the salty ocean and heading out to where the colours met the sky. My heart is aching and I am scared, lost and confused about my life, where it's gone and what I should be doing next.
The quiet ripples soothed me and quieted my mind. I absentmindedly paddled for the open water away from the safety of the little cove. I went a bit to far and my kayak companions called me from the shore telling me I was heading out to far.
This snapped me back into reality and I just let the water take me in. The kelp was thick and deep with the bulbous heads peaking up breaking the water's surface.
I felt empty on this important little adventure. I felt nowhere. Deep down I felt like the waves should just carry me away to...
Where just seems like details. Disappearing has always been a huge draw for me. Here one day and gone the next, yet it has never happened except in my dreams.
What the heck do I have here? I ask myself that question every day.
Lots of love to anyone reading this. Where would you escape to if you have the chance?