Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Surviving the First Date

I went on my very first date in more years than I want to mention (okay 5 1/2) and I survived. I showed up to the initial meeting place to see a nice, handsome looking gentleman. It was such a relief when I pulled up. He was slightly early and stood up as soon as he saw me.

All the nerves I probably should have had didn't appear. It was much less awkward than I had imagined it would be and despite the unshakable handicap of being me, I feel like I did not do badly.

As someone who has had at least 15 years of nightmares of my wedding day, I felt no urge to run away. For me, that is epic.

My nightmares usually consisted of being at the church in my dress. It was usually time to walk down the isle and I would be frozen, trying to figure out how to get out. Sometimes I'd climb out a window in my dress, sometimes I'd be forced down the isle, sometimes I'd just be paralyzed in my layers of white tulle.

I guess I may not have mentioned it on my blog before, but I was married. Eons ago. That's how I ended up with my amazing children.

So that's enough about that.

Usually when I have gone on dates in the past, I have felt completely alien from the person I was out with. I would get an overwhelming feeling of loneliness which I feel a heck of a lot less of, by being on my own. The idea of tying yourself to the fate of another human being made me beyond uneasy.

So the utter calm and pleasantness of this casual date relieves me. I can actually see now that there are kind men out there. I knew they existed out in the wild in theory.

So step one accomplished. Upwards & onwards!

3 comments:

Ronni Gordon said...

Sounds great. I hope you see him again!

Sam Sloane said...

Ah, I hear this! I can relate to it so much. I'm also an AML survivor, I live in Victoria, BC. I love your blog. I hope you're doing well these days, you're in my thoughts!

BaldyLocks said...

Hello Sam from Victoria BC :) Thanks for stopping by my blog. Us AML survivors are a rare bunch so it's great to have you here!