Sunday, November 4, 2007

Wishing From My Bed

This recovery process is taking forever. I find myself wishing for things in the future and remembering dreams I've had in the past. I ache to do so many things.

My physical state is currently dreary. I'm quite aware that If I were an antelope, the lions would take me down and snack on me first. No Dr. will say if I will recover at all, all they give me are percentages of survival rates. Mine is 61% to live 5 years. After 5 years they assume you probably won't get the cancer back. Hopefully the transplant agrees with you and you live well. Would you put your entire life savings on a lottery ticket if your chances were just over 50% to win? Think about that.

These are a few of my dreams which I want to turn into reality. If you are reading this, I would love to know your dreams. Leave a comment to share.

I wish I could;

Run again -I'd run with the wind (or the wolves, I'm not picky)
Paint -like Gustav Klimt rather than de kooning. If only my hands would stop shaking from my medications.
Be a roller girl -I already have the striped socks.
Dance -dirty dancing preferably, or Salsa, or anything where my body would be able to move.
Travel -to see art in Spain, dance in Brazil, ski in New Zealand, explore the outback in Australia, study in Italy, celebrate the Day of the dead in Mexico.
Do my masters in University -I want to kick some intellectual/academic ass
Earn some $$$ -hello Bill Gates
Fit into my clothes and shoes -like the amazing shrinking woman
Play soccer with my kids
Be in the search and rescue -propel down cliffs, haul people up in helicopters, challenge myself physically in some OTHER way than this
Fall in love
See my grandchildren
See my 80th birthday (or my 60th. I'll be grateful for either one)
Take over the world -goodbye Bill Gates
Recognize myself
Go spelunking -explore the dark caverns of the earth
Inspire others

Be well, forever


Skully said...

Well you already have inspired me, so you can tick that one off the list!

It's hard to be patient and it's hard not to wish. We all do it. Right now I'm wishing I could be outside fire hooping, but it ain't gonna happen. Doesn't stop me wishing and hoping though.

Have all the big dreams of "one day" but don't forget to celebrate all the little victories you have. However small they might seem now, they all slowly add up to the bigger ones.

I'll meet you on your 60th and drink a toast with you whilst watching the sun come up over a NZ hill.

Bohemian Chic said...

Can spelunking be done drunk??? Who knew. We will be celebrating and getting drunk on champagne when all your dreams come true...because once you put it out out world. I am glad I get to be a witness to all good things...and I so want to be sitting in a comfy chair sipping a cocktail as I watch you haul someones ass up on a helicopter..hehehe. Your dreams are all wonderful and definatly do able..Sianora Bill Gates!!!!

Kelly Kane said...

I need to do some thinking about this... I like your goals, maybe we should map out a 10 yr plan to cross things off of our to-do list... Australia and Ireland would be on my list... but I'll post a more thoughtful list later.


JennyBunnyEtsy said...

Sending love your way.... I'm thinking you'll do all those things......

I'm having a tough time right now with stupid things I did to myself... and knowing that you sick.... and puffy (lol), makes me kick my own ass and get moving....... Or think about it....

I'm with skully on the drink thing. I'm there.

Oh, and thanks for adding me to the roll.. I've been slacking, but catching up slowly!

Cathy said...

I don't know you personally, but I get the distinct feeling from your blog that you're no quitter... the chips might often be down and the world often seems like a stupid, unfair place... but you keep bouncing back. You have humour. You're motivated enough to post on your blog and list things in your store. You inspire others. So I think your goals will definitely be reached.

I wish for a million and one things a day... just wrote a half petty/half mushy list and then deleted it!

Sugarloaf said...

What an inspirational post! Lists like this is what makes up keep going, you know?

I'll see ya in the streets of Brazil. :)

Deana Mattos said...

If I could grant you one wish on your list it would be to live to 80, all the rest would fall in place because you will have a great appreciation for life. I wish you good health.

Duane said...

A Beautiful post. Your thoughts, your dreams . . . very moving. I really hope you get to do all the things you listed and more. You so deserve it.

For me, traveling is a big one. Every time I've wanted to do a bit of traveling this stupid cancer pops up again. Montana, Washington State, New Zealand, and Peru are just a few from my list.

Wishing you continued strength and happiness.

ReBuildingYou (and me) said...

We are successfully linked! To baldylocks and pharmacandy...

I'm sorry you've had such a very rough few days - year or two...


BaldyLocks said...

Yay to linking!