Thursday, March 20, 2008

Artistic Angst

Well, I've had quite the hell ride the last 2 years, yes, it's been 2 years!

The good part of that is I'm feeling better and better to the point of being able to paint again. Even though in this game of hot potato (where I'm the potato) I feel pretty good about life. I attribute that to being honest in my experiences. When I'm angry, I'm angry, when I'm sad I'm sad, when I'm happy, I'm happy. Pretty simple stuff. We are born knowing this but as adults we learn to repress our immediate instincts and emotions.

I think as artists we train in being true to ourselves as much as we train in the physical realm of creating. Creating comes within yourself and can be a hard, deep place to reach.

I had a poetry professor once who egged, poked and prodded us to go to the dark recesses of the mind. To her this was the only way to be a great poet. She would even shut the lights out and had a plastic goose lamp for a moody effect. I was a little weirded out by that class. It was in a small community college where I guess they could get away with such things. I ended up doing the cover for the poetry book we pumped out. I guess even then I was destined for the visual arts.

Artistically and stereotypically speaking, artists are supposed to be in a constant state of angst. Angst is good stuff. I don't really dwell in those places because I don't see the point of hurting all the time. Sure there's a lot to hurt about. I just love enjoying life and what it has to offer. I love having an idea in my head, plotting on how to execute it and completing it.

I love the artistic angst, which for me is feeling my pains and processing them into visual form. I suppose it's a way of taking control and letting it go. I leave it there on the canvas.

It leaves me a lot of mental space for everything else.


lavinia hanachiuc said...

I'm one of the people who expected art to be challenging rather than I was pushing for blood and guts in "real art" and had total contempt for anything without a life turning message.As I'm growing older I'm starting to appreciate a good mix of angst/ataraxia as only one of this would drive me to madness.It might be wisdom or it might be that I lost my edge.:) Now I'll go watch some depressing black and white movie to borrow some of that director's angst.
Keep painting ,I can't wait to see the red girl on the wire.

High Desert Diva said...

So glad you're getting back to painting!

Captain Skulduggery Dug said...

I'm really looking forward to seeing your finished pieces.

Anonymous said...

Love the pictures. Love reading about your artistic journeys, through all of life's challenges. Love your honesty about it all.

Michelle said...

You know your stuff is great don't you? Well it is!!!!