Thursday, May 29, 2008

Vagina Letter

This is an experpt from a letter sent to my vagina today, from a friend who knows my weird sense of humour and how to make me laugh.

dear baldylocks' vagina,

now i know you have been through a hell of alot, as has the rest of baldylocks, but you really took one for the team with the host versus graft, it was painful beyond what you ever thought would be possible and for so so long. as if the pain wasn't enough, there was that time at the c bay pharmacy when the pharmacist was so embarrassed about your situation that he made you feel humiliated for wanting a more humane and narrower cream dispenser. then, after going through so much your hope was simply to return to your former shape, size and self, but no, that was not to be.

i am sorry. it really sucks. i know that you will do what you have to do to be the best vagina baldylocks could ever have. you will even surrender yourself to a practical stranger in an operating room. you are the ultimate trooper. thank you. thank you for all of your healing up hard work. thank you for trusting the surgeon to restore you to a healthier self that can fit in a penis and support a cervix and uterus. you will get well again, i mean really well. well enough to possibly enjoy the pleasure of a penis with a scottish or australian accent one day. great things are ahead for you. vagina you are loved and appreciated. i am sorry that you have to go thru more crap. i wish it was over already, but i promise that this is your best path to healing. be brave tomorrow vagina. you have a destiny, you are precious, and you are loved.

Everybody do the happy vagina dance for me!


Captain Skulduggery Dug said...

Jonny and I did the happy vagina dance and now Jon looks a bit traumatised... He never in his life thought he would dance the dance of the cheerful 'lady garden'. :D

I hope all goes well today. Yay vagina heal fast and heal right!...

Now there is a sentence I never dreamed I'd be typing!

Michelle said...

Hi there! I am doing the vagina dance right now! You will be OK vagina! You too baldylocks!! I am praying for a complete recovery from whatever ails you!!!

High Desert Diva said...

You are probably out of surgery now...hopefully being attended to in the best princess manner.

Here's to an Australian or Scottish visitor!

Bohemian Chic said...

Yah you...finally some rest and lets hope no more pain...of course I see big(and I do mean big!) things on your horizen soon

T.Allen said...

I just did the dance for you and Super V. May the gods of sensitivity, elasticity, lubrication and many many "O"s shine down upon thy vessel. ((hugs))