Parent Fail

Some big changes have come about with my family since I got sick. I used to spend my days with my 3 sons at beaches and parks as well as walking to and from school every day. We were always physically active until I hit full stop. Now I have such a hard time being active and have spent most of my time immobile.

It bothers me but what bothers me more is the inactivity level of my sons. They grew up playing outside, running circles around our house and freaking out the neighbors by climbing trees. They would also spend a bulk of their time reading. I guess my kids were unusual in that way. People never failed to be verbal about the shock of seeing my kids reading in public. I never quite understood the surprise from strangers.

Well, my oldest grew up and moved out (he's 19) and my second son who's 16 has gravitated to team sports has been in football, wrestling, rugby and works out in his lunch hours from school, all out of his own motivation.

Son number 3 has been lagging behind. I feel guilty as I'm laying there exhausted, because I don't have the energy to take him out. I realize at 14, he should be able to do that himself but he's not. I made him join wrestling with his brother and eventually he said he doesn't want to go anymore.

So I call his coach and end up in a long conversation. The coach laughs when I say he might try gymnastics. Coach says, "No way, the time has passed". The coach is a wonderful guy who has dedicated himself to kids for over 40 years, although he sounds relieved that my son is quitting and goes on to tell me that it's obvious my son has no athletic skill whatsoever. And that my son obviously grew up spending all his time on the computer, going on to say, 'When he was a kid, kids played outside etc. etc.' The picture the coach painted of my son made me think he should have his pants pulled up to his chest and snort when he laughs with his argyle vest on while watching youtube.

It was a very painful conversation that lead to the idea that I was a negligent parent... or that's how it felt. He also went on to say that my son was out of luck in the sports arena and, "That's okay if he would never be a sports guy"(AKA an uber geek).

As I thought about my son's activity level, I realized it's only been the last year that he's been staying inside, he'd rather read than do anything else. I go on constant library runs with him and he goes to the bookstore whenever he has money.

Anyway, it hurts to have all the work and activity I did with those kids, all those years just to end up with it being 'obvious' that my youngest has never had any amount of activity in his life!

So basically out of the two sons at home one is physically a tank and the other is gangly, weak and uncoordinated.

I don't expect him to be a hardcore sports achiever but I do want him to be healthy strong and to have fun. I really feel like I committed a parent fail. If I could change things, I would.

Actually I will rephrase that to, "When I figure out how to change things, I will."