I am sitting in my room crying. This blog business is so immediate. I can be crying now and post it. I have some home support to come and clean a little as well as cook some meals. My social worker and nurse have been encouraging me to have groceries and meal ideas for the worker to come and make meals for the week.
My nurse came for a home visit and then the home support worker showed up for the meal prep. I had stuff ready for a big soup and shake and bake chicken. She has two hours. Well, she went off on me about all the pressure I am putting her under. Two hours to make a soup and put chicken in the oven? I've made that soup many times and it's never taken me so long.
Usually I only have about half an hours work for her and she dawdles around killing time. She gets paid for it. She makes out like she has been slave driving and barely made it through. My nurse is fantastic and has jumped in to help mediate and peel potatoes. I can't believe I'm such a mess right now. It's difficult enough to get through the day.
I can hear her bitching to the nurse in my kitchen.
I never would have let this happen before. Being needy SUCKS TO FUCKING HIGH HELL. I am a do it yourselfer and have never needed or asked for help before. I feel like I'm in a hole. I never asked for this.
A friend of mine is coming to save my emotional needy fucking ass.