Sorry I haven't posted the last couple of days. I've been much too busy shopping and going out for lunch etc. etc. A girl just can't have too many pairs of shoes.
I wish. I've actually just been too tired. This Bone Marrow Transplant business is just SO hard to recover from. When did I sign up for this?
Ok, so yes, I did in fact sign up for this. The Dr's do in fact give you a very graphic education before they give you the choice of whether to do the transplant or not. So....do I die or do I take the transplant? This may seem like an easy decision, but it isn't. The recovery process is brutal and life changing.My body has been altered right down to my DNA. And quality of living... It's important.
So, if you are questioning my "attitude" because of my occasional apathy, you can think of it like this.
I have a glass which is half full, NOT half empty. But if you see there are many other glasses which need my attention. There is a glass which is for taking care of myself. This includes getting dressed, bathing, taking my pills, getting sleep, going for walks, attending Dr's appointments, sleeping, nurturing my mind and the occasional Starbucks mocha. (and of course, my blog)
There is a glass for getting groceries, paying bills, filling out forms etc.
There is a glass for taking care of my kids (bottomless....)
A glass for housework, laundry, cooking....
A glass for nurturing friendships....etc......
There is not enough to go around. I am often too tired to drink or eat. That's why I have the Meals On Wheels, bless their hearts. The most basic thing I HAVE to do is take my meds or the jig is up. I have to decide every day what I do because it is so limited. I do try to do things which give me some peace or happiness. Sometimes laundry actually is it.
This blog is the one accomplishment I have in the day. I dream about painting again, running, dancing....This stuff can't be done from my bed. My muscles won't let me.
Not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just saying, I'm tired.