Friday, May 9, 2008
How to Freak Out Your Teenagers
See freaky animation that sends your youngest into fits of, "That's SO freaky! Gnomes are evil! If I ever saw one of those I'd..." He continues to tell everyone he sees for the next few days about the video and what HE would do if the gnomes came after him.
Several days later you find a bunch of driftwood Santas floating in the ocean. Happily bring one home and plant it in the yard. They see it and use it for Nerf target practise.
Next, after dark, bring it into the basement hiding on a shelf near their video games. When one of them comes up and starts yelling, "Who brought in the gnome?", make sure to be brushing your teeth and blame it on the other sibling. Accuse them both. This will plant seeds of doubt and make them nervous.
They toss it back out into the dark of the yard.
When the lights are out and they are in bed, sneak out to get it and covertly place it just outside the bedroom door.
Make sure you have just enough lighting to cause a shadow and slowly crack open the door so they can see it. This is the tough part because there will be dead silence. Teenagers are by nature nervous creatures.
Beware if they have just received Nerf guns for their birthday. This may give them an inflated sense of safety and false sense of security. Don't worry, you are still in control.
Make sure to be consistent. Place it in the shower for when they are still groggy, getting ready for school the next morning.
After finding the gnome hiding in the bushes in the front yard today, it's now waiting for them to come home from school.
Disclaimer: No teenagers were harmed in the making of this blog post.