I don't seem to belong here. A few days ago I wrote the words, "I feel lost and out of place in my own life", on a forum and hit send before it had occurred to me that I even wrote it.
My sons are teenagers now and have their own lives, separate from mine. When they converse with me, they usually want something. I'm the driver, the lame unhip old person who keeps them from all the cool stuff they could be doing if they had no rules. I'm the barrier. The harder I try to spend the limited energy I have on them, the more they have to lament about.
This is normal. I've always known it would happen and these days would pass.
The problem is, I almost left them forever. Will I still be here when that time comes?
Life seems intangible right now. It's right there but I can't seem to touch it.