Pain is My Playmate

I'm laying here covered in hurt. During my hiatus from the computer I visited my GP about my carpel tunnel. It had gotten so bad that my shoulder hurt and I couldn't hold things or drive with out serious pain. Every thing I do feels like walking through neck high mud. It's hard.

When I asked my doctor about what was happening and described what I was going through, she told me I don't sleep at night and end up wrenching my body into weird contortionist angles to try and get comfortable. She asked a few questions and BINGO. I realized she was right. She told me to go get wrist splints and then one of the molded pillows. She also raised my sleeping medications. The first few nights I felt like a freak. Isn't all this cancer/stem cell/puffy prednisone head shit enough without adding insult to injury with cripple splints? I felt like a monster.

I drove around to several stores looking for one of those freak pillows. I was so steaming angry while I was shopping that I'm sure I was spewing nuclear grade energy out into the biosphere. There was no one anywhere in site to help me find the freaky P. I had to drive to another mall. There was a young couple registering for their wedding in the line in front of me. I had had it! Then I growled at the price and dickered her down until I got it for $24. I left down that escalator hoping to not end up like this gentleman. (escalators are my nemesis). Damned you vile escalator!



After I got home I braced for an uncomfortable night but as soon as my head hit the much expensive pillow, I was in lala land. I slept like a rock.

After a week I started to feel a lot better. My pain started slipping away. My days were easier and I was functioning at an acceptable level for the first time in a looooong time. I realized I could have a life! I bought a few clothes and a couple of hair accessories and I felt human again. I even started a waterfit class! So, it's an arthritic class for elderly people but it is the right place for me right now. My sleeping pills were only raised for a week, so I'm slipping down into the pain and soft tissue damage at night again. But at least now I can discuss this with my oncologist and see what she says.

I've been in bed these last 2 days because the elderly people kicked my ass in that last class. They are much to fast for me! I'm really not sure about going again tomorrow but we'll see. Maybe I'll be the one kicking ass soon?

At least now I know there is a solution to my pain problems and that makes me very happy and hopeful.