Saturday, October 25, 2008
I've been MIA recently because I've been reeling in exhaustion from all of my recent appointments. I have had my 3 month oncologist appointment, gyno-oncology appointment and an endocrinologist as well as my second round of shots. All of my main appointments I have to travel for, and non of them were on the same day. I feel a little like a YO-YO. Everything is fine and the doctors are trying to work out my fatigue problem, hence the last minute endocrinologist appointment. Unfortunately he was less than helpful. What a waste of time.
I've also been an emotional YO-YO and have been finding everything difficult. Yesterday produced these 3 self portraits. I didn't plan them, they sort of rolled out on their own.
The first one I called, "I'm a Rockstar in My Own Mind". I find that my brain battles low points by creating visual or written images of being strong. If I am outwardly presented as being strong then I can feed off of that and try to feel a little better. I even added a blue glitter star and glitter eye shadow (it doesn't show in the photo). Because if I look okay on the outside then...
But not a moment after I created Rockstar, this one formed. I had started it like the first and had planned on a variation of Rockstar but something different evolved.
This is just me sitting in my car sipping a behemoth sized mocha and trying to make the best of my day...
With my wicked-cool new earrings.