Saturday, June 6, 2009

RUN!



I've gone 573 kilometers today. I just kept driving and driving and driving with the last 3 years rolling around in my head. It feels like such a relief to be heading towards somewhere else.

I cheated on the photo, though, that's from my Monday's neurologist appointment. They drew on me with a pen and zapped me repeatedly to test my nerves to see if I have neuropathy from my chemo. No big deal really, I'm just SICK of Dr.s appointments. Unfortunately them's the ropes and I don't know when they'll back off.

*sigh*

This trip feels like a therapeutic adventure. I'm okay, everything is okay but yikes, I need a mental/physical break.

I think I'm mostly good but I have a lot of fear. When cancer pops up it shoves fear right down your throat whether you want it or not. The fear part is so unwelcome in my life.

I feel like I'm taking my life back by confronting them and even pushing those fears over the edge. I've been quietly freaking out the whole way about where I would sleep tonight. My sleep is a huge problem and it limits what I can do. The big fear is, what happens when I can't function tomorrow and I'm so far from home?

Well, I'm about to find out.

I was going to sleep outside tonight in a campground in my hammock but at the last second when it was getting dark, I put myself into a hotel. I decided being outside alone in a campground on sleeping medications was a bad idea. Maybe I'll get a tattoo instead?

WooHoo! I'm on the run!

Will post whenever I get the chance!

5 comments:

Autonomous Artisans said...

Enjoy your adventure! Facing fears can be very cathartic. *hug*

Lisa said...

you need intense positive energy..
I would read A new Earth by Eckhart Tolle ---- and
Love, Medicine & Miracles
by Bernie S. Siegel --- and Eat PRay Love by elizabeth Gilbert is a good self discovery journey book.... godspeed to you

BaldyLocks said...

Thanks for the book suggestions.

It would have been a good idea for me to bring one of those along with me. I guess I'll read them when I get back.

:)

victoria kloch said...

The big C word frightens us all. You are an inspiration . . . and I'll be looking forward to reading about your full recovery. Till then, keep RUNNING!! :-)

Susan C said...

What an adventure! Thanks for taking us along.