Sleeping is so hard and gross. Every night it's a big chore to try and get to sleep and when I do it's like skipping a rock across the water. I'm only skimming sleep. While partially asleep I'm having complicated dreams about past emotional losses, torments and having adventures in detailed claymation scapes. I know. I'm odd.
Apparently this is all part of the process to get me sleeping again. My GP did tell me that I would start dreaming again but WHOA! Wild wild mental night escapades. Despite it being a form of torture and me involuntarily staying up until 1:00am and being in bed until noon, I am starting to feel better again. After 3 weeks of getting winded walking from room to room I have picked up the hoop again and even partially walked up the mountain.
When I did go up the mountain I was super slow and had my agile 14 year old saying, "C'mon mum, hurry up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon". I would have strangled him if I had been able to catch him.
All in all things are getting better. It's just so aggravating that after getting a bone marrow transplant it can be like having a clunking car engine that needs a major tune up. Everything, EVERYTHING is off kilter and it makes living hard, but if a whole lot of things can get adjusted back into place (hormones, muscles, sleep, medicaions etc. etc.) then a "normal" life is on the horizon.
It feels fantastic to be able to say that.
5 comments:
I'm so glad that the world is opening back up in front of you.
*hug*
Hooping and hiking...wonderful developments! it was so lovely to have lunch today! Call you soon. xoxoxo
Claymation, I had to google it. Strange dreams are kind of cool. In one of my own favorites, I play football (engl. way).
I kick the ball and the first toe of my left foot (brittle as glass) breaks off. Ouch!
I know already what will happen, but I have to kick the ball.
I wonder how "Ziggy" Freud would think about it.
And why the hell am I the only one who has always to play barefoot?
YAY! I love the last line of this post so much.
Glad you are hooping and hiking and seeing what is approaching on the horizon.
Funny dream, Jen. I actually like weird complicated dreams. It sure gives me something to think about the next day like why in the hell was I dreaming about big claymation rabbits in front of the sunset while I was rushing down the river in a houseboat.
Where the heck does that come from?
I just don't like the dreams that are filled with strong emotion like sadness or fear. It makes me wake up feeling rattled.
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