Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Normal is on the Horizon

Sleeping is so hard and gross. Every night it's a big chore to try and get to sleep and when I do it's like skipping a rock across the water. I'm only skimming sleep. While partially asleep I'm having complicated dreams about past emotional losses, torments and having adventures in detailed claymation scapes. I know. I'm odd.

Apparently this is all part of the process to get me sleeping again. My GP did tell me that I would start dreaming again but WHOA! Wild wild mental night escapades. Despite it being a form of torture and me involuntarily staying up until 1:00am and being in bed until noon, I am starting to feel better again. After 3 weeks of getting winded walking from room to room I have picked up the hoop again and even partially walked up the mountain.

When I did go up the mountain I was super slow and had my agile 14 year old saying, "C'mon mum, hurry up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon". I would have strangled him if I had been able to catch him.

All in all things are getting better. It's just so aggravating that after getting a bone marrow transplant it can be like having a clunking car engine that needs a major tune up. Everything, EVERYTHING is off kilter and it makes living hard, but if a whole lot of things can get adjusted back into place (hormones, muscles, sleep, medicaions etc. etc.) then a "normal" life is on the horizon.

It feels fantastic to be able to say that.


Captain Skulduggery Dug said...

I'm so glad that the world is opening back up in front of you.


Anonymous said...

Hooping and hiking...wonderful developments! it was so lovely to have lunch today! Call you soon. xoxoxo

Jens said...

Claymation, I had to google it. Strange dreams are kind of cool. In one of my own favorites, I play football (engl. way).
I kick the ball and the first toe of my left foot (brittle as glass) breaks off. Ouch!
I know already what will happen, but I have to kick the ball.
I wonder how "Ziggy" Freud would think about it.
And why the hell am I the only one who has always to play barefoot?

hockeychic said...

YAY! I love the last line of this post so much.

Glad you are hooping and hiking and seeing what is approaching on the horizon.

BaldyLocks said...

Funny dream, Jen. I actually like weird complicated dreams. It sure gives me something to think about the next day like why in the hell was I dreaming about big claymation rabbits in front of the sunset while I was rushing down the river in a houseboat.

Where the heck does that come from?

I just don't like the dreams that are filled with strong emotion like sadness or fear. It makes me wake up feeling rattled.