Monday, September 28, 2009

Flip Side of The Series of Unfortunate Events

Spent yesterday struggling with not trying to feel like I should throw myself into a volcano to appease the angry and vengeful Gods (I must have really pissed them off). I tried really hard but was not successful. I tried treating myself right by going for a long walk downtown and having a mocha and an artichoke panini. I know that's just spending more money but I was on the edge of thinking, "what the fuck, I might as well give up now". Not a nice place to be. Sitting there in a place with other people soothed my nerves, especially the couple sitting beside me having a very tense and uncomfortable discussion. I thought one might snap and swing a chair in a full out brawl but it just stayed tense. Gave me the perspective that my $300 thrown into the endless money pit wasn't the same as house purchasing money problems.

Please excuse me for eavesdropping. It was tight quarters where I was sitting and they were practically on top of me.

I came home dejected. Later I took my hoop to the local school which is the hub for all the neighborhood activity and practiced some things I can't do in my livingroom. It was weird having people watch me. Then lay in bed, with no car insurance and could't fall asleep until 2:00am.

Today I didn't get up until noon, thinking, "Why bother?" and with this cold nagging at me. Waking up feeling like life is worthless is a shitty way to start the day.

The day before the $300 incident I had gotten up the gumption to repurchase Word for my computer. It had been lost when my computer crashed a few months ago and I have been suffering without it. I realize I could have used another program that's cheaper or free but my life has lost so much of it's familiarity that I couldn't really function without it. Word for mac is what I know. Uber bad timing, though.

So today after dragging around and having my morning, make that afternoon tea, I plugged in my laptop and opened Word in case I felt like jotting something down while I was doing the mountain of dirty dishes in my kitchen.

I typed out my heading for my new writing project, to be announced, and started jotting down all the ideas rolling around in my head. One idea led to another and I suddenly felt like fresh air had been given back to me. Having Word feels like having my arm sewn back on again. I cranked on an old song and danced shamelessly and nerdy-like around the kitchen.

Sometimes giving yourself the permission to revel in self pity leads to wonderful things that lay on the other side. My bad day has been most excellent, to quote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Even the rain isn't bothering me.

8 comments:

Diann said...

Way to be!

Anastasia said...

I miss Word when it is gone, too! I've lost it several times, for several reasons. It is quite expensive, but it is just so...necessary sometimes! Much more compatible with everything than the awful wordprocesser I have installed right now!! Sometimes some things are worth it! :) :) Anyway, glad your mood took a turn for the Better!!! :)

Bohemian Chic said...

We all have to retreat and lick our wounds from the world some days...if only we would be kinder to ourselves on a regular basis. I think going out and treating ourselves to a mocha and an artichoke panini should be right up there with paying insurance..mandatory. Good on you. Personally can't wait to follow along as you make use of your new program..Word up!

Kimberly said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and offering some words of encouragement. Your blog title says it all...and I couldn't agree more. Looking forward to following along with you..
Kim

Gloria said...

You go girl! And yes, you're right, sometimes we do have to 'go there' but only for a limited time, mind! Loved reading your blog. The honesty and vulnerability shines through and I think people will appreciate that!

It's my first visit to your blog and I'm going to follow you to see how you go.

Please have a look at my blog . . always up for a laugh!

Back soon . . and keep that chin up!!!

Lauren said...

YES! That's so great. I think you should wear your crazy wigs when you hoop in public. Why not?

Seb said...

Great post! This is very helpful. I'm sure I'd visit your site more often. Anyway, you can drop by my favorite online hang out too, at UK Student Community. Thanks!

Dawny said...

Wow what a contrasting couple of days....you are just..well....pretty amazing ....

xxxxxx