Sunday, September 27, 2009

Series of Unfortunate Events


Son who is almost 16 was asked to go out to a girls birthday party which consisted of driving around in a limo. Son was very excited because he's never been in a limo, asked to stay out late for the first time.

He is also finally making new friends at his new school and is a very good son so I reluctantly say yes, wanting to allow son a new experience that I can't afford to give him. I take down all relevant phone #s, the address etc. send him out with $15 which is a huge and rare treat.

Had an overly exhausted day due to having a cold but waited patiently for him to call so I could pick him up. Son calls slightly later than he was supposed to at 2am, what was I thinking?

I put youngest son in car and drive out to pick up middle son. He says he'll meet me at the pool so I don't have to drive around finding the house while I'm insanely tired. It's near a McDonalds and my throat is scratchy so I tell youngest son I will get him fries so I can get a hot chocolate.

As I'm driving well within speed limits bright flashing lights go off behind me. I pull over thinking this is my first random check ever. Police officer comes out and tells me my insurance has expired a couple of days ago.

Jaw hits floor of car.

Police officer realizes I have never had a driving violation or accident before and gives me a lesser type of fine and calls a tow truck. Gives me the ticket as I'm perspiring wondering how I will get to son because I have forgotten the address and #s at home. Police officer rolls his eyes like I'm a bad parent for allowing my 15 year old to wander the streets partying his ass off.

I don't own cell phone, neither does son because we can't even afford cable. Other than rolling his eyes officer is very kind, so is tow truck driver who flags down a cab. Police officer has instructed me that tow truck driver can't take us because he only has two extra seats and I also have youngest son with me.

Tow truck driver says he will meet us at our house. Cab driver is also very kind and says I'm lucky that it wasn't a drinking driving violation. I exclaim that would never happen because I would never drink and drive, duh, in my squeaky sore throat and my slightly slurring speech, due to being horrifically over tired, startled and beyond my functioning level. It's now 3am and cab driver rolls eyes about my son roaming the streets at all hours. Notice that cab driver had just come from McDonald's and is eating fries.

With cab we start looking for son. We can't see him so cab driver asks if he has a cell phone. I say no. Then he asks if I have cell phone. I say no. Then he asks if I have phone number of who son is with. I have forgotten it at home. I get out of cab and start hollering in the dark until son morphs out of the shadows. I have trained him well about how to stay out of harms way. He asks why the heck I'm in a cab.

Cab drops us off at home.

$15 for sons night out
$10 of major chocolate splurge to appease younger son who felt left out
$89 ticket but luckily not $600 that officer threatened
$30 cab ride with no tip added
$106 tow fee
$50 to get my new address on my license tomorrow

Perfect 20 year driving record shot to hell.

= $300, most expensive night of my life and I didn't even get to do anything other than stand in cold.

+ Overcome by slightly irrational fear of marrying a cab driver or tow truck driver instead of a university professor because they are very kind and cute with handsome bald heads and I don't get out enough and they are damn fine looking.

Thank God for credit cards. Fuck chemo brain to hell.


Caroline said...

oh, no. What a night! I definitely recommend a day of spoiling yourself with cups of tea under a blanket to recover. And if I had a cure for chemo brain (and could remember it long enough), I would send it to you. Hoping you have a better day!

Cami said...

You need them! Get some rest. Maybe have middle son massage your shoulders.
And I like your tags for this post!

Ann aka ButDoctorIHatePink said...

Well, but did son have a good time? He better appreciate you after this!

You know you can buy very cheap cell phones, like tracphones with no payment plans, for emergencies such as this. I remember nights picking up the now 22 year old myself, and I've got a 12 year old on the way up. I needed the comfort of knowing I can reach them.

Hope you can sleep it off. And, that boy needs to cook you dinner!

Jens said...

Oh, foock! That was bad luck. Nevertheless, it was the right decision. Your son is certainly grateful to you. Here, 16-year-old can already buy alcohol. With an age of 18 years may come in everywhere.
20 years perfect driving? Not bad. In my case it's only a few tickets for parking and ... hm ... not for driving too fast, but flying too low (as a police officer once said to me).

Fuckity fuck fuck? Ha ha.

Get well soon.

Anonymous said...

Holy shit! Compelling reading, my dear - I was riveted. Love the part about son morphing out of shadows. Hope he had fun for all that. So sorry about the $ incurred though - with no dancing or whooping involved either. Someday we will remedy that. Also love the part about how cute cab and tow truck drivers were and fears of them beating out a university prof. I've always been a sucker for a blue-collar man, myself... xoxoxo

Bohemian Chic said...

Oooh man that was the best post in awhile..hahaha. I am not laughing at you..I am laughing with you.♥ I was staying at my sisters right around the corner..wish I'd know I would have came and rescued you...I always knew you had a thing for guys in yellow cars! LOL

Gloria said...

Love your style. Gave me my first big laugh of the morning.

Feel better soon and look after you!

Off to read more!


StudioCherie said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm guessing that is how you feel most of the time. So glad I stopped by. Bless you.

BaldyLocks said...

Yes, StudioCherie, you just described my life!