Friday, March 5, 2010

Light

I'm so happy to be home today. Waking up in my own bed was like a dream come true. As I awoke in the morning, still in that almost awake phase, and felt my own blankets around me and my feather mattress topper undreneath me, I held my breath. It took me several moments to realize it was true, I was home. I let out a large long sigh of pure relief. It took another several minutes for my brain to compute what I had done and been through in the last few days and was able to convince myself at the end that everything is okay.

And then I was able to get out of bed.



As the morning has plowed on and I had my mini rituals of tea while reading the paper, washing out my eyes (because of my lack of being able to produce tears) and had a hot bath, a sense of happiness filled me.


When I look out my windows they are filled with sunshine and billowing pink clouds. The blossoms waited for me to get back.

I'm eating something and am going to go for a lengthy walk to let this happiness wash over me. I feel a renewed sense of relief, hope and joy. I have a fleeting feeling that maybe my future might cough up something in my favour after all. Maybe I can get this roller-coaster of a life under control? Maybe I can still rule the world?

Or maybe I'm just having a great day.

14 comments:

Little Tesoro said...

Sounds like a wonderful morning! Wishing you many many many more wonderful mornings.

Jens said...

Here it has snowed in the night. 30cm of fresh snow. Blah,.... I do not like it anymore. These wonderful pictures make me a little envious. At least today the sun shines. I'm glad that you are now doing well. Have a nice day.

BaldyLocks said...

Snow? I haven't seen any snow at all! Blossoms are the new snow in BC this year.

John said...

Your blog makes me fucking laugh! You sound pretty cool to me! From one cancer survivor to another keep up the good work!

If you ever want to shoot the shit I'm jmaionville@gmail.com or John Maisonville on facebook

Sweetlife said...

Vancouver??!! Blossoms??!! I recently googled Vancouver & it looks freaking AWESOME!!!

I am so glad that you are home & it sounds like your appt.s went well.

Enjoy!

Jill said...

I am from Victoria and the blossoms are awesome. Enjoy your beautiful weekend:)

hockeychic said...

Yes, you can still rule the world! I love the beautiful blossoms! I'm so glad you are feeling well!

My Life Under the Bus said...

Awesome blossoms...we've still got snow on the ground and it was in the 40's today ! Wishing you many more awesome days !

Tania said...

i'm so glad the blossoms bring you joy.

Because when I lived in Vancouver they were the pretty pink harbingers of misery for me! WAAH! allergy HELLLLLLLL.

But knowing they make you happy is very ok.

( I like seeing em from afar where they can't get me!)

Tara said...

OMG the weather looks fabulous!!! I'm so glad you had an awesome day :). but I really think I should move there too ;) lol.

Montagyoo said...

How wonderful! I wish you lots more happiness. :)

Dawny said...

I love the blue sky and the blossom
gorgeous

xxxx

Rosa said...

Congratulations! I am a cancer survivor and I work for ChiliTechnology. The ChiliPad is a great invention for people who have medical conditions that make them too hot to sleep - it's a cooling mattress pad. You can set any temp. you want down to 46 degrees. It also heats - if you need that. Unlike the electric blanket it keeps the electromagnetic field far away from the body - so doesn't increase your risk of cancer or get in the way of healing. It really helped me during chemo when I was getting sweats and chills. I thought your readers might be helped by this info.

John said...

Well I believe you are in the Vancouver area! This summer I'm flying down to visit my brother in Vancouver. He lives a stones throw from stanely park... I don't know how close that is to you but I would love to hang out one day with you if possible... whether we bowl or whatever. I'm easy going I love too eat did I mention that... I'll let you know when I have a date when I'll be in the area maybe we can cancer vent in person oneday!