Sweat

I can feel the sweat beading on my forehead. I marched my way into the university career centre today. I'm an almni so I have access to their resources. I hadn't really planned that but next thing you know I am sitting in an office explaining my situation and asking zillions of questions. When my mind gets set on something, it's like winding up a propellor and letting it go. Without even planning to I get things in motion. Sometimes I think it's an obsessive personality, stubbornness or maybe a healthy mix of both.

So there I was. Next thing you know I got myself home and have been plugging away at the computer ever since. I typed up a resume and sent it into the place I have in mind. I've been thinking of applying there for a while and weighing the pros and cons. I eventually came to a big YES. I worry about my abilities and I worry about my health but I have to just do it.

I hate doing anything less than %100 and my grades from university show that freaky stubbornness and high achievement. I believe those are assets that a company would find very useful. It's part time so I hope that I can ingeniously schedule in my recovery time between shifts. I still can't handle more than the occasional shift of a few hours.

I just have to trust that I know my body and that it will endure this. I would have preferred to spend a week or so obsessively perfecting my resume so it's the best resume of all time but it needed to go in. It will have to do.

I think I'll go for a nice calm walk.