So, I've been getting out a little more recently. I wander in my little car, often with no real destination in mind. I hunt down the best mocha in town or the mocha with the best view. Occasionally I get out of the vehicle and I realize by the public indifference, that I am frumpy.
Sometimes I run to the grocery store for something. You know that crazy lady at the grocery store? Well I am that crazy grocery store lady. I don't have any cats yet, but I'm sure they will come in time. I get home and I realize I'm wearing something absurd and very unmatchy....to the point of possibly clashy. My hair is in pins with a dash of bed head and let's not forget my puffy head with deep set eyes that have a blank stare. Completely the wrong shoes and looking somewhat awkward....oh, and dropping everything.
A friend and I went out for lunch the other day and she came looking all gorgeous. I was wearing beige track pants and a pink hoodie with a purple vest. I felt a pang of, "I sure look like crap next to her". I asked what the occasion was and she said I am always dressed up looking drop dead gorgeous and blow her out of the water. She was trying to keep up to me.
Well....when was the last time I did that? I've been deep in my track pant coma for a year and a half. I retain that it's still a step up from the Hospital gowns/pajamas.
I hate looking in the mirror because where a young attractive woman used to be, a puffy face, frumpy hair and lumpy body now exists. I look over 10 years older since July 6 2006. Is this my prize for going through all this?
As I browsed through a store the other day I came across two women gushing over Spanx.
Spanx promises to take my lumpy body and give me this nice firm rear.
I would like a nice new rear but those things look like a lot of work.
I think I may need a set of tongs to get me in and out of them. Or maybe a body sized shoe horn.
I suppose it's comforting to know that for $75 and no breaking of the skin, I can have a tight ass too.
