Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Stuff of Dreams

It's days away from being two years since I was diagnosed and flown away by helicopter. When I was wisked away I though I'd be home and back in commission in 3 months. Talk about not getting the severity of what they were going to do to me. When I initially asked they wouldn't talk about it. It would have been nice if someone had said, hey! You're almost dead but not quite so we are going to poison you almost to the point of no return and then change your DNA, Have a nice day:)

I guess not everyone is into brutal eye gouging honesty.

Anyway, two years later I'm finally starting to feel better! Omyfuckinggawd! Everything looks different the last couple of weeks. The sky is bluer, the sun is shining brighter, the grass is greener. I think I could be a freak'n fabric softener commercial.

Soon I'll be dancing and singing on the mountain tops with Julie Andrews. You Rock it baby!

The major source of my trouble at this point is the graft vs host which is my brothers feisty immune system attacking my liver and other things. The "other things" is a whole other post. I react quite badly to the steroids I have to take. They make my life miserable.

They are the wee little pills at the top of the photo, labeled; Prednisone. Such a big wallop for such small pills.

The good news is that my tapering is going well, my liver is stable and I may be off them soon. I get unreasonably excited every time I'm about to taper them down again.

Currently I'm on 1/2 a pill which is 2.5mg, every other day. I haven't had to visit my oncologist in 3 months! I'm pretty sure she is lonely and misses me since I'm not in her office all the time now. I'll be seeing her in a couple of weeks. Maybe then she'll let me off of them permanently! Oh, to dream.

I'm finally having renewed strength in the belief that I will get better again.


Smarty Pants said...

You sound so positive! I can't imagine taking that many pills when I gag on a simple vitamin. I admire your strength and perseverance. Thank you for sharing your life!

Waterrose said...

Hugs to you and stay brave!

Chocolate and Steel said...

The hills are alive....with the sound of music!

You have a great attitude. It doesn't sound easy what you are going through and I hope that it only gets easier and easier.

That picture of the pills is actually quite stunning and overwhelming. You should submit it to a photo contest or something.

Skully said...

I'm so glad that life is getting better for you. Keep sight of the bright hopes and dream and keep on taking little steps forward until they turn into giant leaps that land you where your heart desires.

Big hugs and joy to you!

treasurefield said...

Yay for you getting better and feeling happier! You look great!!

BaldyLocks said...

Thanks, I really am!

Ivy & Mae said...

so brutal--my mom is a cancer survior. after watching her this is what i learned--

those that fight cancer--in all of its forms--who cope with such brutal treatments have more inner strength than the average human being.

i don't know if it because they must rise to the occasion to fight to survive or if they were blessed with that before the trials came--either way that battle brings out that will.

very positive to read your post.

Allison said...

Cheery is the best way. :]

kp said...

Hey! Just found your blog today while looking up whatever I can find for chronic GVH (fun)! I was diagnosed with AML 1 yr ago, and had a stem cell transplant in August. I swear I have the same head shaving photos! It's amazing to me to find another person whose experiences are so similar. Thanks for blogging!

High Desert Diva said...


Infinite Cosmos said...

I hope you feel better and better with each new day!

Liz said...

Im glad your recovering so well, you have a strong heart and alot to look forward to.

Tatyana said...

Prednisone is horrible stuff, i doubt anyone can tolerate it. I've met a couple of animals on it and they're always miserable. I hope you get off the stuff soon! Good to hear you're feeling better :)