Saturday, October 25, 2008

Self Portrait-O-rama

I've been MIA recently because I've been reeling in exhaustion from all of my recent appointments. I have had my 3 month oncologist appointment, gyno-oncology appointment and an endocrinologist as well as my second round of shots. All of my main appointments I have to travel for, and non of them were on the same day. I feel a little like a YO-YO. Everything is fine and the doctors are trying to work out my fatigue problem, hence the last minute endocrinologist appointment. Unfortunately he was less than helpful. What a waste of time.

I've also been an emotional YO-YO and have been finding everything difficult. Yesterday produced these 3 self portraits. I didn't plan them, they sort of rolled out on their own.

The first one I called, "I'm a Rockstar in My Own Mind". I find that my brain battles low points by creating visual or written images of being strong. If I am outwardly presented as being strong then I can feed off of that and try to feel a little better. I even added a blue glitter star and glitter eye shadow (it doesn't show in the photo). Because if I look okay on the outside then...

But not a moment after I created Rockstar, this one formed. I had started it like the first and had planned on a variation of Rockstar but something different evolved.

This is just me sitting in my car sipping a behemoth sized mocha and trying to make the best of my day...

With my wicked-cool new earrings.


Anonymous said...

Oh, Mokka. Trinke ich auch gern.
Ich weiss, dass es nicht noetig ist ueber Dinge zu reden, die jeder Mann sehen kann. Trotzdem werde ich es jetzt sagen.
Sie sind eine wunderschoene Frau. Kein Zweifel.

(Oh, mocha. I also like to drink.
I know that it is not necessary to talk about things that every man can see. Nevertheless, I will say it now.
You're a beautiful woman. No doubt.)


Catherine Chandler said...

Fantastic portraits!!! I love your sweater...And definitely your earrings! Where'd you get those? BTW, you're lookin' pretty damn hot :)

High Desert Diva said...

I like the second one...the colors, the background.

I also zeroed right in on your sweater (cute!) and earrings (wicked cute!)

Nice to have you back in blogland. Hope the fatigue problem gets figured out quickly!

Ravenswick said...

Love those earrings too! Great portraits. All that running, I am sure that adds to your exhaustion. They should be able to schedule everything at once for you! Hand in there and I hope your energy comes back soon.

Renee said...

Those are great portraits. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

Anonymous said...

Love the earrings and the portraits. Good vibes to you.

Ndinombethe said...

Love the earrings - fab! The self portraits are excellent, couldn't help but notice the tears in the second one.

Hang in there. You are a rockstar - just look at how far you've come and what you've survived.


hockeychic said...

You are a Rockstar, not just in your own mind!

The earrings are completely fab! I loved each one of these portraits, each one has a distinct mood and they are each so beautiful.

Not sure if it is available to you but are you able at all to see an acupuncturist? They may be able to help with the fatigue problem. I know you probably don't want to see another person with all the people you have to see. Just a gentle suggestion.