Yesterday in Beacon Hill Park

Self Portrait-O-rama

I've been MIA recently because I've been reeling in exhaustion from all of my recent appointments. I have had my 3 month oncologist appointment, gyno-oncology appointment and an endocrinologist as well as my second round of shots. All of my main appointments I have to travel for, and non of them were on the same day. I feel a little like a YO-YO. Everything is fine and the doctors are trying to work out my fatigue problem, hence the last minute endocrinologist appointment. Unfortunately he was less than helpful. What a waste of time.

I've also been an emotional YO-YO and have been finding everything difficult. Yesterday produced these 3 self portraits. I didn't plan them, they sort of rolled out on their own.

The first one I called, "I'm a Rockstar in My Own Mind". I find that my brain battles low points by creating visual or written images of being strong. If I am outwardly presented as being strong then I can feed off of that and try to feel a little better. I even added a blue glitter star and glitter eye shadow (it doesn't show in the photo). Because if I look okay on the outside then...

But not a moment after I created Rockstar, this one formed. I had started it like the first and had planned on a variation of Rockstar but something different evolved.



This is just me sitting in my car sipping a behemoth sized mocha and trying to make the best of my day...


With my wicked-cool new earrings.

Cellular Revolution

My self photo portrait became a drawing. The drawing represents what I vision in my head about the fusion of my cells and the cells from my brother. I often imagine them all mingling and coexisting happily together to keep me healthy and safe.

Happy cells = alive me.

There is no place for cancer in my visualizations. I do not see them so they do not exist. There is nothing but purity and light.