The Flu that Never Ends and the Magic Elixir

So, I'm still under the influence of this flu. I'm seeing a minor improvement as the days go by and hope to be rid of this damn bug by Christmas. Or sooner.

After about a week of this misery I decided a mini cherry cheesecake might do me a world of good. When I actually tried it though, the miraculous effects I had hoped for didn't emerge... and then I just felt guilty. After several more days passed I bought myself a coffee which is fairly unusual for me.

A few days after that I was out doing my usual mom chores (because those never end, sick or not) and I stumbled upon a Starbucks.

Despite hating to give corporate Starbucks my money when I have local shops I could go to, I was seduced by it's warm atmosphere. The inside was a generically cozy, and there was the large board of delights to choose from. After standing in a small line I purchased a small peppermint mocha.

Somehow that warm, consistant across continents, pepperminty coffee made the whole world feel okay for the time it took to drink it. Several days later when I had to go out again, I tried another one not expecting the same magical effects. Well, again I was soothed into feeling a little better when I had it's warm paper cup in my hands. When I slurped the whipping cream with the little shaker bits of minty chocolate I felt transformed. The hot mocha made my throat feel a lot less scratchy and irritated.

It may not have been the most PC or ethical purchases that I've ever made but, it was a little piece of heaven.

Sigh. Now if I could just figure out how to get this headache to go away.

Trouble

Right now I'm wavering between writing an angry rant and having a pity party. My body is a mess. I went to my GP because I'm not even sure how I'll be able to get through and make it to my other appointments. I'm continuing on doing all the things that a parent needs to do like getting groceries, driving the boys to their sports but I can feel the negative impact of doing these things. I feel like I need to curl up for a week and let my body heal.

I have a thousand things going through my mind right now but they aren't settling into any particular thought or emotion. I'm just tired. My body is in trouble on so many levels.

H1N1 in the House

This sucks. My second son and I went on a pilgrimage last Friday to get the H1N1 vaccine. It turns out we didn't get it fast enough. Day before yesterday 3rd son had a headache. By Morning he was looking like hell. Second son said he had a sore throat. I rushed them in to the doctor who was able to get us in at 11:00am. He confirmed that they likely have the H1N1 flu. We were given prescriptions of TamaFlu (not sure if that's how it's spelled) and I immediately had them filled.

They became increasingly ill all day and this morning but at this second they are feeling a touch better. I've been wearing one of my left over masks from when my immune system was really low but I think it's too late. I have a headache and my throat is a little sore.

I live with those symptoms anyway and even have hot flashes from my early menopause so it's hard to say if this is anything extra. The flu shot takes a certain amount of days to kick in and it seems we just barely caught it before the vaccine worked.

I have to admit, this really pisses me off, I feel extraordinarily angry at the H1N1. Seriously, how dare it come after me. I didn't barely make it through cancer just to be killed off by a fucking flu! FUCK YOU SWINE FLU! I will kick it's ass all over the place!

So, if I have it, it will be my first flu since my transplant. I guess it's finally time to take this new immune system out for a test drive. Who knows how it will deal with the flu virus much less a rogue respiratory attacking flu virus? Kind of scary, kind of anger inducing.

Anyway, if I die I'm going to die with these shoes on because I've never even had a chance to wear them.