My Christmas Wish

The flu has a really tight grip on me and won't let go. It seems to be an extension of the H1N1 coming back to haunt me in so many ways. I received a cal from my oncologist today who talked to me on the phone about what is happening regarding the graft vs host symptoms. She thinks it's my immune system gone into haywire overdrive triggered by the H1N1 and the vaccine. It was just too much on my immune system to deal with so it attacked me where it was attacking me before.

My blood work is slightly off and my liver is slightly unhappy. I will still see my doctors on the appointments just before Christmas. She thinks she may have to put me back on the prednisone for a period of time. It's a possibility anyway.

I don't think I can cope with that, so I just plan to have it all fading away by then. My wish is for stable health for Christmas.

Wanderings

The adventures are on hold because second son has been very ill post H1N1. He had a few good days and then hasn't been able to get out of bed for about 5 days since. We went to the doctor and had a throat swab as well as blood taken (it wasn't me for once!) We are still waiting to hear the results and he is finally perking up a little.

Just before I came down with the H1N1, I went and walked around down town not sure if I'd get to see it again if the H1N1 killed me.


There is a little alley in Chinatown with galleries and shops in it. It always feels like I'm off in another far away place when I peruse the brick corridor. This alley was in the movie Bird on a Wire and also a movie with Dr McDreamy before Grey's anatomy.

I can see why. Who wouldn't be in love with a place like this?


Here is second son getting his H1N1 flu shot that was too late to save his poor little ass.


They doubled up on us and gave 2 shots at once, the regular seasonal flu shot and the other.


It was weirdly nice having someone to get shots with for once. Not sure he thought so, though.

Children in the Attic

I sit here in my living room hearing what sounds like footsteps above my head. They sound like hesitant steps of someone tiptoeing....wandering....

That's because I keep the children in the attic.

For my safety's sake they have the upstairs, not including my bedroom and I have the downstairs and the kitchen. We have an upper and a lower bathroom as well. I have put rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle to disinfect all the doorhandles, light switches and faucet taps. I stocked up on soup, gingerale, Tylenol and Halls (by special request). I have my Tamiflu in my purse ready to take.

I'm all set for the zombie apocalypse...oops, I mean the H1N1.

I keep putting on my mask, going upstairs and making deliveries of tea, food and drink to the infected. I'm hoping if I appease the fickle higher powers, they may have mercy and pass me by.

Meanwhile, in my body I think there is a mini triathlon going on. It seems like there is some sort of internal finish line and the microscopic viruses are racing my antibodies for the win. Who will get there first? I've definitely been exposed and keep having a touch of a sore throat, mild headache and hot flashes.... but unfortunately that's a normal day for me. I really can't tell who's winning.

I'm on the antibodies team for obvious reasons, I'm not ready to put those pretty shoes on yet.

H1N1 in the House

This sucks. My second son and I went on a pilgrimage last Friday to get the H1N1 vaccine. It turns out we didn't get it fast enough. Day before yesterday 3rd son had a headache. By Morning he was looking like hell. Second son said he had a sore throat. I rushed them in to the doctor who was able to get us in at 11:00am. He confirmed that they likely have the H1N1 flu. We were given prescriptions of TamaFlu (not sure if that's how it's spelled) and I immediately had them filled.

They became increasingly ill all day and this morning but at this second they are feeling a touch better. I've been wearing one of my left over masks from when my immune system was really low but I think it's too late. I have a headache and my throat is a little sore.

I live with those symptoms anyway and even have hot flashes from my early menopause so it's hard to say if this is anything extra. The flu shot takes a certain amount of days to kick in and it seems we just barely caught it before the vaccine worked.

I have to admit, this really pisses me off, I feel extraordinarily angry at the H1N1. Seriously, how dare it come after me. I didn't barely make it through cancer just to be killed off by a fucking flu! FUCK YOU SWINE FLU! I will kick it's ass all over the place!

So, if I have it, it will be my first flu since my transplant. I guess it's finally time to take this new immune system out for a test drive. Who knows how it will deal with the flu virus much less a rogue respiratory attacking flu virus? Kind of scary, kind of anger inducing.

Anyway, if I die I'm going to die with these shoes on because I've never even had a chance to wear them.