I feel utterly hostile right now. Some days are just so hard to cope with. My stupid body is so slow and I have things to get done. The more I try, the more frustrated I get, then BLAMMO! Mom turns into a bear and tries to eat the little children. Although the children are taller than me and hold their own in the grief giving department.
And now I realize the handy illustration I just made is off kilter. Thank goodness I have this rice crispy square to take my frustrations out on, grrrrrrrrr.
I try to take my camera everywhere I go. The reason is, is that the world is a fascinating place. If you open your awareness and look up from your own life, you will see things. Intriguing, curious and mind bending things. Instead of constantly building answers in our controlled universes, you end up with more questions.
Cancer has busted me out of my workaholic, perfectionist, achievement based world and shown me something new. The world is slower now. In the slowness of life you can actually see the details. Put down that coffee, lay down your to do lists, and look.
The other day I drove to the beach and saw 3 people. A girl and a guy were naked, painted purple and running and splashing in the ocean. The third was taking their photos. They continued this while people went by, jogging, walking, and strolling with their dogs talking on phones and listening to ipods. Some of them never noticed. Some of them were startled at the last moment and kept going. I sat watching and wondering. Why didn't I have my camera? My best guess is they were art students. God I miss school.
I went by a friend of the family's house and met her new "other". Fascinating. I will post about that tomorrow.
Yesterday I went for a walk to the beach and came across painted driftwood Santas floating in the ocean. All their faces had been scribbled over. Creepy. Again no camera. I went back today for some photos.
They had been tossed up all over the beach overnight. Next thing you know, one was coming home with me.
I planted him in the yard to wait for my kids.
Watch this and you'll see why, heh, heh.
I'm going to put it in their bedroom when they are sleeping tonight.
