So, I'm still here. I didn't perish from the NEWS FROM HELL even though at times I thought I might. I've been dealing with serious stress pains in my chest and nausea, so, pretty much things are as usual.
Since all of you missed accompanying me to my actual appointment I thought I would share. This time I have pictures, as I know my previous Vagina posts disappointed from the lack of visuals.
All the accompanying photos were taken the day of my Gyno visit but are not quite in order as there was some serious foreshadowing going on.
I arrived relaxed and on time to the giant Gyno Building in Vancouver.
I followed my specific tips for dressing for specialist appointments (ie, any appointments which involve backless gowns). I stripped off the outer layers, donned the famous, and always stylish booties.
I mean, these booties.
I was escorted into the exam room and made myself comfortable.
Everything was ready to go down under
and check out my goodies.
Unfortunately, despite everything, this turned into a bit of an awkward situation.
My dear Vagina was again broadcast on the large GynoVision for our viewing pleasure. Photos were taken and I was shown every follicle in detail and congratulated on the healthy pinkness of my skin. I, quote, "get two thumbs up for healing".
After my quick congratulations, I was told when I wanted to have sex again I would need surgery as the "fantastic" healing I've done had caused a tight ring of scar tissue.
Fuck Me. Or not.
Hmmmmm? So do I get one of those designer vaginas everybody is talking about these days? Will I be the first one on the block to get one? Back up Britney Spears! Just wait until I'm strutting my stuff around town.
Really, there's no reason for me to be such a big baby about this.
It's not like I was using it anyway. The most action I've gotten has been with the gynecologists. They may be trained and all, but they're just not doing it for me.