Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Bad Blogger

I've been neglectful here in blogland.

In the last week and a half I've had 3 Dr./specialist appointments which I've had to travel for. Things were great until my last appointment a couple of days ago.

I've had some very bad news. The cancer is not back, the news is not life threatening, but life altering. Right now I am processing, mourning, playing angry music, playing sad music, sitting in the quiet, crying, hurting and feeling numb in a rotating order. I'm not sure what to say.

I tend to withdraw and curl up into a self isolated, self protective shell when things are bad.

"fall seven times, stand up eight"


Skully said...

Life is one long chain of events that cause changes. The way to survive the changes is to try and work out the good that the change will bring with it rather than focusing on any of the negatives. Hard to do sometimes I know, but even the worst changes in the world have some glimmer of hope riding shotgun with them.

Falling down stairs can give us a different perspective on life. Sometimes we need to go down them to be able to stand up a stronger more rounded person. There are lots of people out there that want to offer to help you up by being the hand rail on your stairs. You sound to me like a fairly lust for life filled woman so I'm pretty sure you'll be getting up for the eight time. Take your time and use the hand rails if you need them.

Angie said...

*hug* I hope things work out!

Anonymous said...

It looks like you need a dose of positive, realistic help.

I never really felt better until I forced myself to believe that I could. So many people walk again who were told that they would never even have feeling in their legs. When I let it get to me, I felt infinitely worse. What you need to do is put on some fantasic jazz, force yourself to get up, and start DOING, doctors be damned.

This is coming from someone who is supposed to be dead. I was never supposed to make it through my Embolism, and most people dont. I had a life I wanted to live, so I fought. You have to fight your own body and emotions to get back up.

So turn off that sad music right now, open the blinds, put on a pair of jogging shoes, and take a walk around your house with purpose. Don;t let those doctors tell you you can't!



Bohemian Chic said...

sometimes we all get tired..fighting is hard...take the time and nuture yourself...get a new mind set and like Basteldren said...don't let them tell you No. We will be waiting when your ready...

Anonymous said...

They all said it so well before me. Hoping you're well. Thinking positively of your good health and well-being. Oh... just talked to my mom and she was like "Yes! I met her and she's great. Tell her I wish the best for her health." So there you are. It's a small-ish world.