This recovery process is taking forever. I find myself wishing for things in the future and remembering dreams I've had in the past. I ache to do so many things.
My physical state is currently dreary. I'm quite aware that If I were an antelope, the lions would take me down and snack on me first. No Dr. will say if I will recover at all, all they give me are percentages of survival rates. Mine is 61% to live 5 years. After 5 years they assume you probably won't get the cancer back. Hopefully the transplant agrees with you and you live well. Would you put your entire life savings on a lottery ticket if your chances were just over 50% to win? Think about that.
These are a few of my dreams which I want to turn into reality. If you are reading this, I would love to know your dreams. Leave a comment to share.
I wish I could;
Run again -I'd run with the wind (or the wolves, I'm not picky)
Paint -like Gustav Klimt rather than de kooning. If only my hands would stop shaking from my medications.
Be a roller girl -I already have the striped socks.
Dance -dirty dancing preferably, or Salsa, or anything where my body would be able to move.
Travel -to see art in Spain, dance in Brazil, ski in New Zealand, explore the outback in Australia, study in Italy, celebrate the Day of the dead in Mexico.
Do my masters in University -I want to kick some intellectual/academic ass
Earn some $$$ -hello Bill Gates
Fit into my clothes and shoes -like the amazing shrinking woman
Play soccer with my kids
Be in the search and rescue -propel down cliffs, haul people up in helicopters, challenge myself physically in some OTHER way than this
Fall in love
See my grandchildren
See my 80th birthday (or my 60th. I'll be grateful for either one)
Take over the world -goodbye Bill Gates
Go spelunking -explore the dark caverns of the earth
Be well, forever