Monday, December 3, 2007


I think there is an empty hole where my life used to be. I feel like I have been in a coma and have woken up to everything missing. My kids are still here, thank God. I have a home, I have food. I have the ability to get up and move.

The people are missing. What I filled my days with is missing. School is gone, my dreams of traveling are gone, hopes of falling in love are gone. My memory and ability to academically or physically achieve are gone. What do I do now?

My creativity is still here tormenting me with ideas I cannot follow through on yet.

What do I do now?


Kelly Kane said...

You plan a trip to Boston in June... duh! :)

I feel like I recently posted something similar about this same feeling... you're slowly getting better, soon enough, soon enough. It'll be kinda like a rollercoaster for a while, but I'm hoping by next spring we'll both just be fabulous! :)

I'm thinking I'm going to call you around does that sound to you?


Cathy said...

sounds like you have great friends :) and just from reading your blog, i think you'll still achieve plenty in life!

easy for me to say - but hang in through the rough patches, you'll feel better in no time :)

Skully said...

I'm feeling somewhat the same as you are right now. I have friends in India that are running circus workshops for street children. I so want to be there with them, but I'm stuck inside a crap body that refuses to work properly and if I did somehow manage to get myself over there, all I'd be able to do is lay about being ill... What good is that?

So I sit here reading their blog updates and sending them funds to keep them going and cursing my body. Not very productive or useful I know, but it's just how I feel right now.

It will get better though. I've had relapses before and I'll have them again. I'll go through this stage every time and I'll come out the other side a slightly change person, but I will come out the other side and so will you.

Hang on in there. You will make it out the other side. Yes things will be different, some things better, some things not as they were, but you will get there.

Make small goals and treat yourself when you achieve them.