Sunday, May 18, 2008

Today

6 comments:

Autonomous Artisans said...

Where are you? You are here with your family, with your friends and you are perfectly wonderful. The pills are not who you are, any more than the broccoli I ate last night is who I am. Sure I swallow it because I need it to survive, but I'm me and you are you not because of these things.

The pills are just part of the day to day that you have to do, just like food and water is. They don't define you. I know sometimes it can get to feeling that way, just like some days I feel like the pain defines who I am, but it doesn't. Not really. Where am I in amongst all this pain? I'm still here. It limits what I can do, but I'm still that crazy fire dancer inside, who can do 1 million and 1 hoop moves in my head that my body can't actually do.

Where are you? You are an artist of fabulous talent, a mother of 3 gorgeous boys, a sister, a daughter, a woman. You are many things to many people, but I doubt to anyone but the pharmacist you are defined by your medication. (wow what a dull life it must be to be a pharmacist) You are still there. Changed a little by life's experiences but still there.

:)

BaldyLocks said...

The pharmacist and I are on a first name basis. I'm a little scared he might be my best friend.

Thanks for you kind and sane words, Skully. I find it helps when I treat my medications like an artistic medium. I think and plot about how much I hate them, at the same time being glad I have them. I also take a lot of photos. The pills are just such a huge and overwhelming part of my life.

I find my illness seems to take a percentage of my life. For the last 2 years it's taken %100 but now it's transitioning to be %65? I want to be more than my illness.

I guess I'm getting there.

High Desert Diva said...

I'll just add a bit to Lynne's comment (which pretty much nailed it) sometimes Fuck really is the most descriptive of words and so apt.

Keep doing what you're doing... turning it all into art.

Real Diva Designs said...

I know where you are...you are the classy little retro bunny sitting in amongst the pill bottles behind...I so get this..well done you!

BaldyLocks said...

White bunnies and medications go hand in hand.

Autonomous Artisans said...

When I was little my brother had an anarchic white rabbit called Wellington that lived free in the garden. If you ever upset him or startled him he would spray vile smelling gloop from his bottom end at you. Man did it smell bad!

I think Wellington could have benefited from going hand in hand with some medication! Valium!