Well, I'll give you the short version of why I'm in pain. My ultrasound discovered that the graft/vs/host from my bone marrow transplant has been attacking my vagina and I need surgery to fix it. Well now I find out that the same thing has happened to my cervix. My cervix has in fact been blocked by the scarring and fluids are filling up inside of me. It is very serious and painful.
My blog is a little like LOST, so if you want to catch up to speed read this post.
So today I had the most amazing thing ever happen. I dreamt of it happening but didn't see how it could ever happen. But it did! Please forgive me but I'm going to giggle like a school girl.
I went to an appointment at the Cancer Agency and when I came out I saw an ambulance pull up the the heli pad. I DIDN"T HAVE MY CAMERA WITH ME for once! My diagnosis and being flown to the larger hospital was a huge moment for me. I have been fantasizing about taking photos of the helicopter taking off. My experience was so closed off. I wanted to see it from a less painful angle.
I calmly drove all the way home picked up my camera and drove back. It had just landed, then I realized I had done something weird to my camera and the pilot asked me if I had gotten a good shot. He came over, fixed my camera and brought me to the helipad and took photos of me!!!!
This is the back where I was placed on a stretcher. I had 3 paramedics with me.
The helicopter ride was the most amazing, intense, powerful and painful experience of my life. It was a gorgeous day and they flew low all the way over the water. The views were stunning and I was enjoying it but I was in such severe pain that I needed morphine when I got to my hospital room.When they took me out of the helicopter on the rooftop landing in Vancouver, we were in the middle of the city. They slowly turned the stretcher around giving me the breathtaking views of the city and mountains.
This time I was simply the observer. I wanted to know what that moment would have been like for somebody else.
The pilot was so kind to me. They even hovered the copter and turned it to it's side for me to take photos of. After waiting for me they went off on their regular duties.
This photo shows all my children saw of me when I was taken away.Today has completely blown me away. Fuck pain when you're having fun! It was as if it wasn't even there.
15 comments:
That sounds pretty amazing! If you're in pain anyway, you might aswell get something special out of it, right?
I hope you'll feel better soon though!
I just love you...
You, my dear, make me happy, and sappy and a little bit giddy just feeling your excitement.
I wish you all kinds of luck, a lot of love and maybe one more less painful helicopter ride soon.
xoxoxox
April
PS--goign to try to keep up with your version of Lost :)
And I thought an ambulance ride was cool! What an amazing experience you had. I'm glad you were able to enjoy it, and the view. And on such a beautiful day too.
I hope the surgery fixes everything!
how awesome for you!
good luck with your surgery!
Nice heli! I hope all goes well for you:-) Robot boy was cool and worht replacing all the tin foil and plastic wrap I think :-) Your queen of all ailments...I'll stop raving, but love it all.
Blessings!
I'm glad you had such an awesome experience--admist being in pain. Very good attitude.
I'm glad you got to have that experience, and I admire you for being able to find all the beauty in such difficult situations. You are very inspiring.
Oh I am so happy to hear there was such a wonderful experience on an otherwise scary day...you look wonderful in your pictures...and I will be thinking of you!!
Awesome.
Amanda
I just had my 25th anniversary of being leukemia free... but gosh, for all I went through I never got a helicopter ride and I love helicopters. But heck, I dont think they knew what a vagina was back when I was ill. Then again I was only 16 so they probably thought I didn't have one!
Keep your chin up... it DOES get better. Trust me on this.
wow what a story. I linked to your blog via a friend's blog. I, too, have had cancer profoundly affect my life. Off to read more!
sara
Glad to know they figured out what was causing your pain! Good luck with the procedure.
HOW COOL that you got pictures, and pilot was such a kindhearted person! Hooray for full circles.
How fun! I'm so glad you had some entertainment today, you've earned it my dear!
Miss you!
Keep up the adventures!
XO
I still feel all dreamy about it.
Seriously, that's fantastic you were able to get past the painful potential in the day so that you could just be in the moment, and enjoy such an exciting experience for what it was.
You're f'n amazing!
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