Adventures in Blood-Work

I woke up today realizing what day it is. It's my once a month blood work appointment.

As much as I am grateful that it's not once a week anymore, and grateful that I have a medical system looking out for me, this day is like a little slap of reality.


Being once a month is almost enough time to forget that you even need to have it done.


It's not even that big of a deal except that it thrusts all of my medical memories back at me.

I wonder if there will ever be a day that the hospital doesn't feel like an imposing monster in my closet?

Blood Work #184,332

I did my 10 minute walk today, over to the hospital lab to get my bloodwork done for the 372 thousandth time. Again, I saw someone new and again I asked for it to be taken in an alternate location to save my veins. I refrained from giving the same old stupid, lame, "so I won't look like a heroin addict", joke.

Lab Tech: Her mind boggles and she says, "Well where in the heck DO you want me to take it from then?"

Me: I pointed again to the crook of my arms where most bloodwork is done on most people and stated again, "Anywhere but here".

Lab Tech: "Okaaaaaay." and for the millionth billionth time I hear, "You don't want it in your hands do you? That reeeeaally hurts".

Me: "Well maybe you've only ever taken blood from WHINY CRYBABIES before?"

or "Well, you've obviously never met me before. I eat pain for breakfast, honey"

or "When faced with this amount of impending agony, I just ask myself, what would Chuck Norris do?"

Lab Tech: Oblivious to my inner monologue, "I've never met anyone who's ever asked to have it done in their hand before because it hurts soooo much"

Me: "Well, I'm training to be on Survivor"

Me: In my outside voice, "I've been having this done for three years. It's really not a big deal", and begin to tell her the details of what works best where, to get blood out of me. I then tell her I've just graduated down to once a month blood work rather than every two weeks.

She laughs! Figures someone would finally laugh when I don't give my usual dry joke.

She then proceeds to strangle my hand with the big blue elastic and braces me for it, "Ready???????? Little poke", which I always swallow and sigh thinking, "Gimme-a-break"

I suppose at that point I could have said, "Actually, I'm a fainter"

I think next time when I hear the same things said again for the 40 bazzillionth time I'll say,

"No problem, I'm a masochist and I quite enjoy it, do you freelance?"

Scared

I'm not out of the woods yet in regards to my recent GVHD relapse. I swear the doctor appointments never go away. I get my blood taken every two weeks without fail. The photo above is a couple of weeks ago when they couldn't get enough blood from the first hand so they did the other. Every time I go it seems there is someone new, who I haven't had before and I say the same lame joke every time. I ask them to take it out of my hands because my arms are scarring and I don't want to look like a heroin addict, ha ha. Usually that comment is received by the sound of crickets. I think someone laughed once so I don't know why I say it every time.

They always tell me getting it out of my hand hurts a lot and am I sure I want them to do it there? I feel like saying, "HELLO! I had 5 bone marrow biopsies, I laugh at your wimpy little needle!"

Anyway, I'm beating around the bush, the doctors office just called again. My blood is still not right and now my white count is elevated which sends off alarm bells. There are no blasts, which are the cells that mean cancer is back. But still, extra white cells without an illness that I'm fighting off can be bad news. They asked if I am sick at all which could account for the high white cell count but I'm not.

They want me to see my oncologist but all the appointments have been canceled because of THE OLYMPICS. Yes, the Olympics seem to somehow be a valid reason for canceling all doctors appointments in Vancouver. I've had another appointment canceled as well.

So now instead of going for a walk in the rare, beautiful sunshine, I'm sitting here waiting for my GP's office to call back. This sucks.

And the Olympics suck too.

Update: I feel fine but my GP is convinced I'm sick or infected in some way. I'm supposed to get to my oncologist if I have a fever, swelling, puss or any sickness of any sort. They also said that I may just not be well yet from the H1N1 even though it's been almost 3 months. They told me to take it easy.